From: Redfern “Boss Boss” Barrett
SUBJECT: EMPLOYEE PARKING
It has come to the attention of management that several of you have complaints regarding the company parking situation. Firstly, I would like to refer all employees to the binding non-disclosure agreement signed upon your arrival with the firm, and would firmly remind everyone of the severe legal and physical penalties of going to the press. That being said, I will deal with the various complaints issue-by-issue.
1. “My car keeps going missing.”