HOW TO NOT GET ARRESTED THIS XMAS

Written by Redfern on 17/12/2014

Greetings happy housewives and househusbands! Welcome back to Housespouse Corner, where we help turn tears into treasures and empty gin bottles into elegant centerpieces! Or we would, if you hadn’t thrown it at the wall when your ex called by with the divorce papers! You certainly scared him!

Now, normally we at Housespouse Corner don’t celebrate Christmas, or any holiday that could potentially cause a mess in our lovely clean kitchens – however, we’ve received a special request this year to …

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HOUSESPOUSE CORNER: DIY TIPS / SEDUCING THE NEIGHBOUR BOY

Written by Redfern on 28/11/2013

Greetings fellow housepouses, and welcome back to Housespouse Corner – for those of us who have dedicated our lives to the sublime mediocrity of housework, sacrificing careers and friendships to a spouse who cares more about draining the liquor cabinet than whether you live or die. Now, though those lovely curtain decorations we made last week may have passed by entirely unnoticed, but this week we’re doing something really special: putting up shelves! Marriage-saving shelves!

Everyone loves a good shelf. Whether …

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HOUSESPOUSE CORNER: MESSING UP A WEDDING

Written by Redfern on 29/07/2013

Hello fellow housespouses, and welcome back to Housespouse Corner! So far we’ve been making marmalade,  despair baking, gardening, hosting fabulous cocktail parties,  and trying not to think about the coming year. And with only a few arrests, media attacks, and retraining orders filed against us, we’d say we’re doing great!

Now, we’ve been imagining many letters from you about weddings – and with the gays rushing to the altar like sinners at a Hell buffet, everyone has been following suit. But the last wedding we attended was …

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HOUSESPOUSE CORNER – MAKING COCKTAILS FOR NON-EXISTENT FRIENDS

Written by Redfern on 19/04/2013

You’ve dreamed of the scene – you’re in an elegant gown, the room is abuzz with friendly chatter, and everyone is sipping at the exquisite cocktails you’ve made. ‘My!’ the Hendersons cry, ‘If these aren’t the best daiquiris  this side of Paris!’ Everyone cheers. You sing a solo whilst stretched over the grand piano. The night is perfect, and only a few people notice when you have one too many and lock yourself in the airing cupboard to cry and be …

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HOUSESPOUSE CORNER: Gardening Away Your Darkest Fears

Written by Redfern on 01/02/2013

Snows melt, the winds warm, and the Co-op are now refusing to sell you whiskey on “humanitarian” grounds. Yes, spring is coming and soon the world will be coming alive with plants, flowers, and supermarket security escorting you from the premises. Sure, the melting snow will reveal the beer cans and rusted car parts that make up your front lawn – but never fear! Housespouse Corner is here to assist you in all your gardening needs. That’ll show your ex-wife! …

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