Reason vs. Creepy Princess-based Cultism

Written by Redfern on 04/08/2012

It’s 15 years since a certain aristocrat died, and large, emotionally unbalanced segments of the British public are still finding themselves driven to North Korean levels of mourning. The creepiest tribute I have seen so far to mark the crystal jubilee of Diana’s death has been a picture of Harry looking appropriately grief-worthy, his mother’s grinning head pasted into the corner, with the words “I wish you were here” superimposed as though they were spilling out of his mouth in …

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Written by Redfern on 03/08/2012

My short story ‘Transaction’ will be published in the magazine ‘A Cappella Zoo’ this autumn. The magazine is available electronically or via print. It’s a very dark story but one I’m particularly pleased with.


She is nine years old. She lives in a world where every hug, every conversation, every glance, every orgasm, every breastfed baby and punch to the face, involves a flow of wealth. There is nothing else. No gods nor government; no family nor friendship. There is no …

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Redfern vs. Tedious, Grinding Reality

Written by Redfern on 02/08/2012

Hello people I pretend read my blog! According to my obsessive use of Google Analytics to learn as much about you as I can, many of you are using Internet Explorer. This likely means that you have some serious issues in your life, ones which you are attempting to solve using self-help books (your browser says a lot about you: Chrome = success; Opera = child molester).

But throw those books away (or burn them in a huge pile …

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Nuclear Family vs Roboduck

Written by Redfern on 29/07/2012

As we have all heard from the enlightening tirades of Jehova’s best and brightest, the nuclear family is an ancient institution and as a result far, far, more deserving of existence than the Homosexual/Feminist/Abortionist/Trans/Wizard agenda. One man, plus one woman, plus two (or twelve) screaming, unfathomable children. Plus liquor. This calibration is the ‘cornerstone’ (also see: ‘foundation’, ‘pillar’, ‘antiquated architectural reference’) of Western Civilization (also see: ‘Judeo-Christianity’, ‘society’, ‘non-Wizards’). According the them, this has been the way of things right …

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Eurozone vs Eurovision

Written by Redfern on 29/07/2012

As a response to vital global economic developments, I have decided to conduct a scientific* survey of how the eurozone crisis has impacted the average** European*** person.****

Ways in which the Eurozone crisis has affected me:

I see it on the news sometimes.

Ways in which Eurovision 2012 affected me:

People actually talked about it.
I queued for 40 minutes to get into the open-air theatre to watch it.
Denied access due to possession of alcohol. Told to drink it outside.
But we have a lot.
Drink it …

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