How To Ace That Job Interview (Without Taking Hostages)

Written by Redfern on 10/04/2015

We all need jobs, to buy food and playstations and attention–but it seems that almost all the job guides available online simply lead to you running away from armed police divisions along with several frightened bystanders. This guide is different–here we show you how to successfully land that job without taking innocent people hostage.

That’s right: a job, an income, and no lengthy prison sentences. You really can have it all.

First of all, dress appropriately

Remember, it’s that all-important first impression which …

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Love Behind the Updates: A Social Media Translator

Written by Redfern on 12/03/2015

Subject A: Elizabeth Maybelle Preston, 24
Subject B: Simon Christopher Martin, 26
Location: Literally anywhere on Earth

It’s been a wild few weeks! I’m so happy to have met you, Lizzie!
Simon, July 5th (3 likes)

Elizabeth and Simon have been dating for (two) weeks, during which they have seen each other a total of four times. Each ended a serious relationship within the past six months. Elizabeth has started reading Simon’s text messages when he goes to the bathroom.

Simon actually laid his coat over …

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INTERLUDE

Written by Redfern on 24/02/2015

My roommate asked me to print off his boarding pass, so I gave him this.

A WRITER’S GUIDE TO DEALING WITH REJECTION

Written by Redfern on 20/02/2015

We all deal with rejection at some point in our lives. Whether it’s the postman turning down your romantic propositions again, or the local cult turning down your romantic propositions again, rejection is a day-to-day occurrence.

I guess you and the ‘Order of Holy Light’ were just never meant to be.

But what about when that publisher turns down your beautifully-crafted novel, or that witty article you wrote about accidentally spurring an athlete’s foot outbreak at your local pool? Writing rejections can …

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THE JEALOUS PARTNER’S GUIDE TO THE APPLE WATCH

Written by Redfern on 04/02/2015

Well Apple followers, what an exciting year 2015 is turning out to be! Not only do we have the release of another iPhone, another iPad, and yet another MacBook Air, we also have the release of a really small phone that is tied to your wrist and can’t make its own calls. “But wait!” we hear you ask. “What’s in it for me, a psychotically jealous partner who likes nothing better than to follow my loved one to the supermarket …

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