Straight Red’s Absolutely Hetero Guide to Shopping (For Real Men)

Written by Redfern on 05/09/2014

Word up, fellow normalsexuals! It is I, avowed misogynist womanizer Straight Red: lady expert, film critic, and hero of Russia - finally back from Utah’s most controversial ‘gay cure’ clinic. “But Straight Red!” I hear you cry, “You’re the handsomest and least same-sex attracted man I’ve ever seen! Why would you need to go to an ex-gay centre filled with handsome guys you had absolutely now attraction towards and certainly never had secret sex with late at night when the clinic’s supervisors weren’t …

Continue Reading

A SOCIOPATH’S GUIDE TO FIRST AID

Written by Redfern on 11/08/2014

We’ve all been there: you’re walking down the street, shouting at children and generally minding your own business, when you stumble upon some inconsiderate layabout lying in the street, selfishly spilling their filthy blood all over the pavement.

“Look at me, look at me, I’m wearing an orange jacket!” Arsehole.

Normally I would simply ignore such rudeness, but I have recently been informed that stepping over someone “in need of medical assistance” and taking their wallet as an inconveniency payment can get …

Continue Reading

VEGE-GOGGLES

Written by Redfern on 16/07/2014

Now I’ve made no secret of the fact that I’m a beautiful, sexy vegetarian. And I really don’t care what other people eat – if you want to stuff your mouth with some prime tarantulas or fried baby ducklings, then be my guest. After all, we all have our own codes and principles.

BUT (and I wouldn’t be a budding totalitarian dictator without a ‘but’) sometimes, when outside our traditional comfort zone of the very centre of major cities, the Vegetarian finds …

Continue Reading

INSPIRING QUOTES FROM STEVE JOBS’ GHOST

Written by Redfern on 20/06/2014

After consuming a wall-melting amount of hallucinogens whilst trying to repair the toaster with nothing but a rusted knife and a footbath full of water, I am now able to speak with the dead.

So who was I to call upon? A great feminist fighter like Sylvia Pankhurst? An important figure in the civil rights movement like Bayard Rustin? A leading gay rights activist like Harvey Milk?

No, none of those were quite right. But then it came to me: I was …

Continue Reading

NEW NEWSFERN

Written by Redfern on 13/06/2014

Yes, it has only been a month since I last did a news update. But if the British tabloids can find a new report on Princess Diana every month despite her being dead 17 years (yes 17 years, time to feel old), then I can report on my own goings-on.

(“Thanks” to Christoph Hartmann for this lovely memorial photograph)

And goings-on there have been!

My novel The Giddy Death of the Gays and the Strange Demise of Straights is being published!

By Lethe Press - many thanks …

Continue Reading