Now I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t understand babies. They’re loud, they’re smelly, and they’re sub-par at handling the most basic of firearms.
In fact, I’m pretty sure the only reason people have babies is so they get to name something, a name that something will have to live with for the rest of its life. Though many countries restrict the ability of parents to name their baby ‘Colonel Barabbas 9/11’, thankfully lands which speak the language of Queen …
No-one is better at dating than my ultra-heterosexual alter-ego, Straight Red – who, in his own words, is “absolutely surrounded by human females”. According to himself, Straight Red dates so many women that he often needs to spend hours, even days, wrestling with other men just to replenish his own masculinity (naked, just as they did in mega-manly ancient Greece).
“Covering yourself in another man’s sweat is a great way to keep those testosterone levels up,” he insists, a faraway look …
How To Be a “Real” “Writer” This “Summer”:
Ah, summer. Lovers frolicking barefoot through the abandoned needle-strewn streets; furious, disowned dogs chasing children through the underfunded wilderness of once-proud public parks; the delightful bikini top worn by the strange man who waits for you outside your front door. Yet you won’t be witness to any of these delightful sun-month traditions. You’re a writer now, and that means dedication, isolation, and total darkness.
Close the blinds. Don’t let the shameless, sinful lure of …
Hurrah, it’s another of those posts where I post about things which have actually happened rather than simply happened in my own mind and potentially on some other plane of existence.
Things that happened:
My novel The Giddy Death of the Gays & the Strange Demise of Straights has been released by Lethe PressNow available as an ebook, paperback, and audiobook from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Lethe Press (among others). It’s also available in local bookstores.
The novel has received positive reviews on Amazon, Audible, and Goodreads, and …
Now, I’m not one to dictate the likes and dislikes of two thousand-year old historical figures, but I do enjoy it when others enlighten me. Like a teenager in a relationship for the first time Jesus is continually saying that He loves me, usually through manic-eyed people wielding leaflets which tell me the exact opposite.
Ah, but you see, Jesus loves me, he just doesn’t like the things I do. Because of course my inner self and my actions have absolutely no bearing …