PERFECTLY “SAFE” SCENTED CANDLES FROM REDFERN ENTERPRISES

Written by Redfern on 17/10/2014

PRESS STATEMENT FROM REDFERN ENTERPRISES
OCTOBER 2014

“Hello… hello… is this thing on? Wait, I think… I think the microphone is broken… I think… Yeah, no, this looks like a handgun. Lemme check -“

[Loud air-piercing shots are heard; one brief scream]

“Well, then I’ll just have to talk a little louder. Hey, who invited the guy with blood all over his shirt? I mean, make an effort, am I right?”

[Pauses for laughter]

“So the reasons for calling this press conference are twofold. Firstly, I …

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