STRAIGHT RED’S TOP SEXY MOVIES FOR RED-BLOODED ABSOLUTELY HETEROSEXUAL MEN

Written by Redfern on 24/09/2013

Hello fans of total, unflappable heterosexuality and lovely lady parts, it’s Straight Red, my 8000% heterosexual alter-ego. Last time we looked at how to make sex with ladies, but this week we’ll be using our absolutely non-gay eyes to be looking at the hottest films with the sexiest not-men, because men aren’t sexy, because men can’t be sexy. Men are disgusting, especially the ones with hairy chests, toned bodies, and sultry smiles – it makes me vomit just to think …

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WHICH SERIAL KILLER ARE YOU?

Written by Redfern on 09/09/2013

We’ve all been there – you’ve been patiently waiting in line at the ATM/cash machine for over fifteen minutes, whilst the person in front hammers dully at the buttons, presumably trying to work out why their phone is showing the HSBC logo and has grown several thousand times its previous size. Finally you snap, grabbing them by the hair and slamming their face into the keys until the machine is a bloody mess of brain and eyeball goo.

But what if …

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