I’M JOINING THE WINNING TEAM: RACISM!

Written by Redfern on 29/04/2013

You know the scene – you’re having a drink in a bar with some friends, one of whom has brought someone along, a particularly irate person wearing a scowl and an unabashed sense of entitlement. Somehow the conversation drifts towards immigration or terrorism (“somehow” = deliberately and awkwardly brought up by the stranger) and you spend the next 5 hours attempting to explain Islam and justify the existence of Muslim people, all under a rapidly growing headache induced by the …

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HOUSESPOUSE CORNER – MAKING COCKTAILS FOR NON-EXISTENT FRIENDS

Written by Redfern on 19/04/2013

You’ve dreamed of the scene – you’re in an elegant gown, the room is abuzz with friendly chatter, and everyone is sipping at the exquisite cocktails you’ve made. ‘My!’ the Hendersons cry, ‘If these aren’t the best daiquiris  this side of Paris!’ Everyone cheers. You sing a solo whilst stretched over the grand piano. The night is perfect, and only a few people notice when you have one too many and lock yourself in the airing cupboard to cry and be …

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A Moment’s Silence for Queer Teens

Written by Redfern on 09/04/2013
28

Sorry to comment on this issue, but this is to everyone calling for ‘respect’ over Margaret Thatcher’s death.

My life as a teenager would have been far easier without Section 28. I was physically beaten at school for being gay, interrogated by my headteacher and lectured on ‘effeminacy’, whilst the Christians who were allowed free entry to the school brainwashed me about the sin of homosexuality. A very likeable and liberal teacher once told us he would like to talk to us …

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THE REDFERN ENTERPRISES PSYCHOLOGICAL EVALUATION

Written by Redfern on 06/04/2013

Now, I don’t have a good history when it comes to corporate psychological testing – I was actually permanently barred from working for William Hill as a result of some honest answering (sad, but true – I shall never know the delights of watching old men gamble away their life savings from behind attack glass). Still, as we want only the very finest, any-random-bottle-of-pills-found-on-the-subway-swallowing managers for our esteemed* corporation, we have come up with our very own.

*excommunicated

 

Do you have what …

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