THE SCI-FI SEXUAL PRIORITIES LIST

Written by Redfern on 26/02/2013

I’ve been thinking about how frequently science fiction involves human-alien (bestophile) sex, but not god old same-sex shagging, and how many messed up priorities that implies. Examples include Avatar, District 9 (which has damn sexy crustaceans….), Species, Cocoon, Men in Black II, Babylon 5, Star Trek, Star Wars, and about a billion others.

Now, far be it from me to be a massive prude (and may Pan’s furry goat cock forgive me), but despite being a massive homo I would have …

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KILL ALL MARIJUANA-SMOKING, FAKE-ID USING COMMUNISTS: Twitter and Capital Punishment

Written by Redfern on 20/02/2013

As at least 6 of you know, I am on The Twitter. Whilst I’ve had a wonderful time looking at pictures of what people have for lunch and hearing about traffic in cities I will never visit whilst I still maintain some semblance of free will, there are some things on there that are genuinely disturbing.

Now, call me a killjoy, but I’m not the world’s number one fan of having the governments kill people – even though they seem to really enjoy …

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CHOOSE-YOUR-OWN-ADVENTURE DEPRESSING REAL LIFE EDITION: GROCERY SHOPPING

Written by Redfern on 12/02/2013

Welcome to another exciting CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE DEPRESSING REAL LIFE EDITION. Whereas last time involved just getting through the day, this week we have a special challenge: lack of food in the house has necessitated the purchasing of groceries!

Will you survive, or wind up being murdered inside a Blockbuster Video? Only one way to find out!

 

1. You find yourself gradually and pleasantly waking up – the sun is shining through the gap in the curtains and you can feel …

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INTERLUDE

Written by Redfern on 06/02/2013

From: Redfern “Boss Boss” Barrett

To: [RedcorpEmployees_All]

SUBJECT: EMPLOYEE PARKING

 

Dear Employees,

It has come to the attention of management that several of you have complaints regarding the company parking situation. Firstly, I would like to refer all employees to the binding non-disclosure agreement signed upon your arrival with the firm, and would firmly remind everyone of the severe legal and physical penalties of going to the press. That being said, I will deal with the various complaints issue-by-issue.

1. “My car keeps going missing.”

Redcorp …

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SING-A-LONG WITH REDFERN PRESENTS: “KNIFE FIGHT”

Written by Redfern on 06/02/2013

As you may remember, I am now a writer of exciting love songs. Whilst most of the industry is content to write about ‘marriage’ and ‘pump your booty’, I have made it my mission to write about the most romantic, charming situations two (to twelve) human beings can find themselves in.

With that I proudly present to you: Knife Fight, by Redfern “Love Doesn’t Run” Barrett.

 

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Babe you know I love you

But there’s nothing now you can …

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